I think that the “Tips for Parents” listed are pretty much the list that most parents get in the first years of their experience with their school and the school system.

Most parents are more than willing to do all of those common sense things, hoping to help their child get the best education possible.

What also usually happens is that by about Grade 4, reality sinks in and that “common sense” morphs into something much different.

When all of the requirements and “tips” are coming from one source and one direction parents are often wondering if they should expect some things from educators and the system, perhaps offer a few tips of their own on the basic courtesies parents expect in what’s supposed to be a two-way line of communication?  What would parents list as “tips” for educators? Just saying.

My suspicions are already peaked in learning that two teachers wrote these tips, but so too did a teacher write
the free book being offered by SQE. 

I’ve read and distributed many copies of Malkin’s book.

The tips she offers, as she suggests seem suited for parents who are at the end of their ropes, but I have to say that it’s more practical and realistic than the other “tips”.

These tips feel very patronizing to me.

At least this list of tips is more concrete and more to the point than the one in the Parents for Education newsletter. That list of tips seemed to have been written for imbeciles.

While these tips may be well-intentioned I perceive them as patronizing and talking down to parents for several reasons:
-  These suggestions are normal behavior for anybody who tries to talk to somebody in charge or solve a problem
-  The school policies that are specific should be made known to parents as soon as their child starts attending that school.

I don’t know ... maybe some parents need them.
If some parent do need them, most likely these are not the parents who take time to read education books.

“Ask about school policy on email correspondence. Some schools, boards and unions discourage it and want communication only through written notes, telephone or in person.”

On this policy alone, the school boards play big mind games on the parents. E-mail correspondence for the minor things, and congratulation or thank you events are totally welcomed by e-mail. Until the day, the parent wants to arranged an IEP meeting, an assessment or a staff meeting regarding bullying issues, than it is actively discouraged to used e-mail and in some cases the writing of letters, to be delivered by hand or through the postal system. The reason why, to prevent a paper trail from happening, and to limit the repercussions from the upper levels of the education ministry. In the end, it limits the legal options of parents, and often denies special education services because there is no paper trail on the parents side, to confirmed the parents’  accusations. It get worse for parents who learn how to write and insert the legal jargon, such as the school has 7 business days to respond to the requests below.

When I started to do that, and it was when my youngest was in grade 4,  the first response from the school was to inform me that my request will be ignored, until the letter was mailed with a stamp on it. I was told it was there policy, but going up the ladder, I was told e-mails are just as acceptable as a letter in the mail. As I was told, the key words is in writing, and not the method of how it was sent. The school did received a phone call, to stopped the practice. Whether they did or not would be the question to asked, but they did allow me to send communication to the school, at whatever method I chose to delivered the letter in writing.

So as Chuck has stated, “When all of the requirements and “tips” are coming from one source and one direction parents are often wondering if they should expect some things from educators and the system, perhaps offer a few tips of their own on the basic courtesies parents expect in what’s supposed to be a two-way line of communication?  What would parents list as “tips” for educators? Just saying.”

Yes tips for school communication, written by parents. Especially when things get a bit heated, when a parent asks a question, that a teacher or even the school, refuses to answered on the grounds it may incriminate them, and faced legal action or repercussions from the upper levels of the education system.

Chuck’s Tips for Educators, Principals and School Boards

1. Please use your adult voice and speak at normal speed. No need to speak s-l-o-w-l-y as if speaking to a child.

2. Please do invite me to sit down at parent/teacher meetings, but please provide a chair that is adult size and equal in height to yours to indicate that we’re on a level playing field.

3. Please don’t rush though the meeting or schedule the meeting close to a lunch hour, recess, or dismissal. It may give you a signal to end the meeting but I may still be left unsatisfied.

How’s that for starters? Perhaps parents here would care to add more?

Although I agree with several of you that this list seems patronizing to parents, believe me, not all parents are as enlightened and reasonable as you.  Ever see a ‘hockey mom’?  Same holds true for school as for the arena.

As for the tip about e-mail - seems a bit dated.  Since courts recognize system time stamps as reliable, no reason to think that just because it’s on a computer screen it doesn’t legally exist.  I don’t think that our board is particularly ahead on the technology curve and they encourage e-mail contact.  The only caveat our Board requires is that we give out our work e-mail, not personal.  That way there is a complete record of all transmissions and no one can select just those they want to present.  Furthermore, since they encourage us to be available for our students as well, it would be a little creepy for personal e-mails between students and teachers.

not all parents involved with their kids are moms Wayne. I know many dads who are just as involved and even some stay-at-home dads who, along with their wives made a very deliberate choice.

Some of those “hockey moms” are teachers too who have many of the same problems those of us who are not teachers do.

I would hope that most parents went to school and have a very basic sense of what they need to do to stay in touch and up to date with their school.

That said. If I were a parent who couldn’t or didn’t know or understand I should still be guaranteed some level of expectation in communications or service shouldn’t I?

I have what may seem to be an odd question for SQE and Malkin specifically.

Why give your book away for free? While I welcome free stuff I know that there’s a suspicion about things that are free and quality of those things.

Was their a cost for them once upon a time or where they always free?

I readthe article to which Doretta refers; I have actually worked with these two teachers and know them to be extremely caring folks and very aware of the importance of the relationship between home and school.

But for me, I read the article from a different perspective. Many of the items on the list (which aren’t common sense for everyone) could be turned around and written from the perspective of the teacher.

For example, early communication is just as important for the teacher as it is for the parent. Talking about strategies is also something that a teacher should be doing. Not waiting until the ten minute interview to reveal problems is essential for the teacher. Checking on email policy is something that teachers are reminded frequently about from the district office and from the union folks.

I remember the best year of teaching I ever had in terms of parent-school relationship was the year that I sat down on the very first day of school and called every parent who had a student in my class. Parents thought that something was wrong when they received the call, but it set the tone for the year in a very positive way.

This book may not provide the intellectual stimulation to which so many here are accustomed, and I’m not pushing the book (I haven’t read it), but its a book that probably wouldn’t have needed to be written 20 years ago. Schools and school boards are a touch more complex these days, but those essential parent-teacher relationships are still key!

Malkin’s book has always been free.  As a charitable organization, it is part of our mandate and is SQE policy.

We have distributed hundreds of the books—as many parents read it, they then spread the word to friends who then ask for more copies. Many parents have brought it to their school councils. (I’d love to be a fly on the wall of those meetings!)  It has been downloaded countless times as well.

A donation would always be welcome!