This discussion goes back to Aristotle who argued with Plato that most parents have no interest in the good of other people’s kids. 

I wonder if this has a larger effect on the entire education system - tilting the entire system to benefit the vocal middle-class and rich at the expense of the poor. 

Here’s an interesting thought experiment - if a parent has a child in an excellent, expensive private school, and we propose that the school will now be completely free for all students (perhaps paid by a wealthy benefactor) in order to increase diversity and give poor kids an opportunity, what would be that parent’s reaction?  Sorry, we know the answer.

Our school boards are complicit in this, providing excellent schools in leafy neighbourhoods and abandoning inner-city schools to failure.  They put a fig-leaf over the process by teaching ‘leadership’ and providing excellent sports programs for kids that can’t read and count on their fingers.

Helicopter parents have moved to a whole new level in universities. Friends are reporting for the first time in their 30 year careers, parents are showing up in universities arguing that a B paper must be given an A.

Doug, I’ve heard the same and it is truly sad. In fact, I had an acquaintance who used to steam open her child’s mail from university so she could read the marks!  Such an incredible invasion of privacy.

Malkin is correct however, that what will benefit ALL of the children in an elementary school situation is ignored by schools and boards for the most part. I did have one great teacher of my kids who asked to meet with me to find out more about good math programs of instruction because she was not making headway.  Both she and her students were frustrated with MathQuest or whatever math “picture book” they were told to use, so all is not lost!

This is off topic, but I STRONGLY recommend people read The Story Killers by Terrance Moore. He is American, but much of what he says applies to Canadian schools. Canada has had Common Core for decades. I am a teacher and am disappointed at what passes for education these days.

I’ve read many books with regards to education, but The Story Killers has made the most profound impact on how I view current education.

It is a condescending rant bashing parents, to protect the school and school board culture and more importantly to protect the operations, processes and protocols created by the educators to serve the best interests of the education establishment at the expense of the children’s education.So, a new label is applied to parents according to the social-income class of parents. The author who is a teacher ought to check what happens to parents of the lower income and how any concerns they have are brushed off. They are not called helicopter parents but the older label of ‘trouble maker’. One ought to observed what happens when parents of lower SES status, applies the same tactics as parents with higher SES status. A real learning experience, to discovered that all parents regardless of where they are on the SES ladder have no choice but to advocate for their child using methods to overcome the barriers erected by the educators, who would like parents to remain quiet and compliant no matter what the educator(s) are up to.

The author, a teacher has written quite a few articles over the years on the no zero policies and as well is one of the ring leaders to eliminate Ontario Catholic schools. This is the first time, that he decided to bash parents based on the false premise that teachers have little power.  “Teachers (who often have little to no support on matters of discipline and academic integrity) and administrators quickly learn which activist parents are able to wield power and influence and adjust their treatment of the overprotected child accordingly…”  Classroom teachers are very well protected by the so-called activist parents, or otherwise they be standing on the unemployment line for allowing some children to fall one to two grade levels below.

An August, 2013 Star article - http://www.thestar.com/opinion/commentary/2013/08/23/ontarios_grading_guidelines_get_a_big_zero.html

Joe has made some enemies within the K to 12 along the way - http://www.cafln.ca/News_Bulletins.html

And now Joe has decided that parents might be a good replacement in pushing out the educators off the enemy list.  In another 2014 article - http://www.thespec.com/opinion-story/4330221-education-success-comes-at-what-cost-/

The education system was modelled for the needs of the upper-middle-class children. All other students must adapt their learning needs to whatever the learning needs of the upper-middle-class students are. Or as Tom has stated, “Our school boards are complicit in this, providing excellent schools in leafy neighbourhoods and abandoning inner-city schools to failure.  They put a fig-leaf over the process by teaching ‘leadership’ and providing excellent sports programs for kids that can’t read and count on their fingers.” However the sports programs are the first to go for the lower-income schools in order to shore up the sports programs of the higher income schools. Ditto for special education, to repairing roofs to everything between A to Z.

PS - The author teaches at a high-income school in Toronto. I bet he has more than his fair share of parents informing him about is required under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, to meet the learning needs of students with learning disabilities. Students would not be in need of accommodations, if the K to 12 education system did it right in the first place instead of blaming parents. Joe, should be directing his rants at the K to 12 education establishment who are the creators of the mess evaluation and assessment processes are today.

With respect to private schools and Tom’s first comment and what parents want…........some want safety, some want their kids to intermingle with the rich and create good future contacts, some want rigorous academics, some want excellent sports with preparation for sport scholarships, some want the sprawling campus, some want religious education, some want military style discipline, etc.

The list is longer than most care to imagine.

Opening up private schools to take in “everyone” isn’t a good enough solution.

It’s the creation of charter schools, that would also have their “specialty focus”, as well as providing vouchers to private schools, that would give parents the diversity so necessary for so many different kids with different learning styles.

It’s up the Ministry of Education to set the minimum standards - the ones regarding academics. It could (and should) be up to the schools to provide diversity requested by the populace. One for all isn’t a good fit for human beings.

And with Charter and Private schools allowed to retain their entrance requirements, the ‘helicopter parents’ are kept at bay: i.e. all kids at this Charter School must be special needs, or all kids must be practising Orthodox Judaism, or all kids must be up for extended hours of rigorous science and maths, or all kids must be on one of the accepted sports teams after school, or all kids must pass whatever entrance exams, or all kids must be free of any allergies, or play a musical instrument, or be gifted in the arts and troubled in the maths, or maintain an average over 80%, etc.

The fact that CHOICE would exist, in and of itself would allow parents to pick and choose the best match for their child.

Right now, inner city kids must go to the schools within their respective boundaries, while some rich kids get driven to their fancy schools, and many many others take a bus be it to a specialty school, a district school, private, or otherwise. A Charter School would at least eliminate the residential boundary requirement, probably creating a tad more gridlock as now more kids would be travelling beyond their regular “boundary” public school.

And as to how this relates to ‘helicopter parents’.........well if you choose a particular school for your child because of what you like, there may be a few things here and there you may not like. And you won’t be able to change a thing, as hopefully those running the Charter School, much like those running a Private School can ask those parents to leave….......unless of course the parents’ suggestion or ‘great idea’ is for the greater good or simply makes common sense based on that particular need.

Hi Nancy,

I do not doubt what you are saying here, but regardless of the background you have provided with your post, the fact remains, that helicopter parents in schools do exist, regardless of what income level they come from.  I have seen this on a variety of levels - from university classrooms such as what Doug and Doretta have indicated above, to Kindergarten parents demanding that their kid get this particular teacher based on their “teaching style” (???).  When my kids were in Kindergarten, the only thing required of their teacher was to ensure she kept them awake and happy throughout the day…who cared what teaching style the teacher had?  Or that she sat little Johnny next to little Susie instead of little Jane?  What’s the biggie?  But I heard the parent complaints…all the time.  These parents are still with me as we navigate through Middle School now, and no doubt they will follow us all throughout high school as well.  They’re the ones who take up twice as much time at teacher/parent conferences demanding better grades for their kid (usually between an A or a B grade, not the more severe cases, always the ones who can’t seem to manage an A+ in their teacher’s eyes), and are always there after school taking up more valuable time with the teacher when you are trying to flag a minute or 2 of a private conversation with your kid’s instructor.  In the meantime, those kids and parents who have more severe issues and deserve to have a few moments of privacy to discuss these issues with the teacher, usually just give up and don’t bother.  As a parent who advocates for my kids, I most definitely note the difference here that Malkin has illustrated in this post.  But being a helicopter parent?  No bloody way.  My kids are on their own.  The only time I see my kids’ teachers are at a 15 minute conference once/yr, and if my kids forget their lunch and I have to drop it off (that has happened once in 8 years).  I appreciate your background and discussion here, but helicopter parents are alive and well.  It’s why we have so many dependent 25 year olds texting their parents telling them what they’re having for supper, and why so many 30 year olds are still in their parents’ basement.  Thanks for your comments everyone.  Very good topic Malkin.

Tara, just to make it clear. I know helicopter parents do exist. However, the term helicopter parents is not very well defined. In Wikipedia - “The term “helicopter parents” is a pejorative expression for parents that has been widely used in the media.
The metaphor appeared as early as 1969 in the bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager by Dr. Haim Ginott, which mentions a teen who complains: “Mother hovers over me like a helicopter…”[1]”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent

From Parents magazine - http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/what-is-helicopter-parenting/

And here from Slate - The Seven Myths of Helicopter Parenting - http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/roiphe/2012/07/madeline_levine_s_teach_your_children_well_we_are_all_helicopter_parents.html

Parents of SE children and other children with learning struggles are often accused of being helicopter parents, or the more common term - the overprotective parent. In the early years, the LD parenting blogs and forums, had the best advice for parents and I am certainly glad I took it to heart. Many parents are accused of being overprotective by the educators and school board staff when parents are seeking education services to improve the overall achievement of their children by corrective remediation of the 3 Rs. LD parents have often been accused of being overprotective of their children by the educators, and is one of the top 10 reasons why services are denied to children who are struggling in reading in the primary grades. The best advice that I took to heart, “So be it, wear the overprotective label proudly, because the only one that is advocating for the children are the parents.”

That said, no I can’t imagine myself contacting a professor to advocate for my adult child. What I can imagine, giving my child advice how to advocate for herself, and to which occurred this year with my youngest child. As a parent, I can imagine and done so for all my children, being the parent advocating on my children’s behalf in the K to 12 system. My last 12 years was a needless nightmare of constant advocacy and denials over requests concerning assessing for LD to bullying on the bus to arguing with teachers over marks or the absence of marks because my youngest used the wrong method but had the right answer to the absurdity of arguing with education staff that my child did indeed have a reading problem, and her alleged low self-esteem was not the cause of her reading problem of low phonemic awareness. So I wear my helicopter parent label proudly, but at least as a helicopter parent my youngest child has a bright future. If it was left up to the school, my youngest would not be attending post-secondary, nor would she have the skills to advocate for herself and be able to address an envelope for snail mail.

The Myth of the Helicopter Parent - http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201302/the-myth-the-helicopter-parent

In my experience the SE parents are not the main ‘helicopter’ parents. It is the parents of average students who have very high expectations for their children.  The student is producing 70% work in high school but the parents expect scholarships and admission to Rotman, Harvard, Yale ....

They seem to believe the school is holding back recognition of their brilliant child. His assignment needs to be late because he cannot deal with deadlines. His mark was too low on the last assignment, I want a daily report on his progress…

Yes Doug, 

I completely agree with your sentiment here.  As Nancy has so eloquently pointed out, there does exist those of us who will “advocate” for our child/ren in the school system, which is a very separate issue from watching over their kids’ shoulder at all times and help negotiate salaries for their child’s first job…by speaking directly to their employer (I’ve heard that happen too).

I do not think these two things are the same. Standing up for what your child needs in the school system is a separate issue from demanding higher grades for your kid.  It’s unfortunate that these lines get blurred.  Tx for the links Nancy.  I will read them.

Cheers,
Tara

Yes, what the article and Doug and Doretta describe seems to be happening quite a bit.

This puts tremendous pressure on the teachers and this is one of the reasons why learning and behaviour expections have been lowered so much.

That’s one huge reason why we need high school exit exams!
Exit exams would put the emphasis back on attaining knowledge and skills and take it away from marks and accomodations and special circumstances.
And they would solve the current humongous problem of university admissions in a fair way for the students.

Tom, I think you are asking a very good question and I’d like to answer it.

>>Here’s an interesting thought experiment - if a parent has a child in an excellent, expensive private school, and we propose that the school will now be completely free for all students (perhaps paid by a wealthy benefactor) in order to increase diversity and give poor kids an opportunity, what would be that parent’s reaction?  Sorry, we know the answer.<<

Here’s my answer:

If this good school starts in senior kindergarden or grade1 any child should be able to attend.
To continue in the school in the next grade any child should attain the grade standard’s skills and knowledge. Otherwise he will be allowed to remain in the school and repeat the grade.

If the child wants to enter the school in a higher grade then the child has to pass tests to show that he has the grade’s standard prerequisite skill and knowledge.

I am willing to bet that in a school that uses direct instruction children will pass from one grade to the next with no correlation to parent’s SES.

A school that uses child-centered, discovery type teaching while upholding the grade standards will either self-distruct for lack of higher grade students or there will be an very high correlation between the students in higher grades with the parent’s SES simply because the learning will take place outside the school and resources are needed for that.